Happiness comes from living by fundamental values. . . using those values to create
emotional and spiritual depth in your life, and increase intimacy in your love relationships.

 

 

 

BOOK DETAILS:


  Other books by Benjamin Conley:
Taking the Fear out of Being Close
Success in Marriage
Making Relationships Work
The Meaning of Love
Affirming Feelings

Make an appointment
to meet with Benjamin Conley at his office,
1881 NE 26th Street, Suite 221, Fort Lauderdale, FL 33305

Or talk to him in person by calling: (954) 727-9713

PO Box 4304, Fort Lauderdale, Florida 33338-4304
Books about positive values, spirituality, and counseling

Read Chapter I

Contents:

Foreward
11
Preface and Acknowledgments
15
Introduction
19

Physical, emotional, cognitive, and spiritual dimensions

21

The strength of fundamental values

28

Human nature and the nature of knowledge

31

We only know what we know

32

We can agree on fundamentals

36

The spiritual connection

39
I. Three Psychological Fundamentals
43

1a) People have value because they exist

49

1b) Individuals are separate from each other

53

2) People make decisions governing themselves

57

3) People think, feel, and act in their own way

60
II. Four Later Developmental Learnings
65

1) Identity formation and sexuality: integration with the fundamentals

68

2) Economic independence and responsibility: making one's mark

71

3) Creativity

73

4) Teaching and giving to others

75
III. Fifteen More Assumptions Basic to Psychotherapy
77

1) There is a difference between thinking and feeling

79

2) There is a difference between feeling and behavior

81

3) Emotions provide power to act

83

4) Thinking gives us the ability to solve problems

85

5) Human nature is an organic whole

87

6) Condemnation of self or others is destructive

90

7) People learn from experience

93

8) Human beings are social animals

96

9) We always select what we do

99

10) We are always doing something

102

11) What we do affects others

104

12) We use values as criteria for action

107

13) It is desirable to be aware of our values and beliefs

109

14) Symptoms are solutions

111

15) No theory or technique is ultimate

113

Note on Value Assumptions: A Pragmatic Faith

115

IV. The Fundamentals and Other Beliefs Viewed as Faith

117

1) Psychotherapy and faith

123

2) Faith that these values nourish human strength

130

3) Faith in one objective reality

134

4) Faith in the spirit within each person

136

5) The spiritual dimension of life

140

6) Experiencing the spiritual dimension

151

7) Summary: values, faith, and psychotherapy

162

V. Application of Values and Faith toTherapeutic Technique

165

1) Communication to the client: You have value because you exist.

179

2) Communication to the client: You make decisions for yourself.

183

3) Communication to the client: You think, feel, and act in your own way

187

4) Communication to the client : You can enjoy being the person you are, including your sexuality.

192

5) Communication to the client : You can be on your own and a peer with your parents.

194

6) Communication to the client : You have permission and the ability to create.

196

7) Communication to the client : You can teach and share what you have learned.

199
VI. Clinical Application of the Fifteen other assumptions
203

1. The therapist suggests ways the client's thinking can influence feelings

205

2. The therapist suggests changes in behavior in order to modify feelings.

207

3. The therapist engages the client emotionally, to give power to client changes.

209

4. The therapist allies with the client's ability to think as a way to facilitate change.

211

5. The therapist notices physiological, emotional, and interpersonal factors.

214

6. The therapist opposes condemnation of self and others as destructive.

217

7. The therapist focuses on experience as a resource to correct what went wrong and to build on what went right

220

8. The therapist defines movement toward cooper ation and closeness as desirable and healthy.

222

9. The therapist supports the client taking responsibility for decisionmaking.

225

10. The therapist sees behavior as a way to communicate with others.

228

11. The therapist knows the way the client is treated has powerful effects.

230

12. The therapist endorses the fundamental values that encourage growth and health

232

13. The therapist uses teaching as a tool to support emotional growth.

234

14. The therapist uses positive action as a way to confront self-defeating behavior.

237

15. The therapist listens to the wisdom of the client, knowing the therapist's way is not the only way.

240
Concluding Remarks
243
Index
247
Bibliography
251
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